I also sought out the power dynamics I’d witness - like, after so many years watching older guys and younger girls, when I was 17, 18, 19, I started actively trying to Clarté older guys. I présent’t know whether that’s a coincidence. I will never know which came first – whether I had some innate tastes, pépite whether the porn created them.”

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Noticing the physical difference when I was watching porn vs when I was having actual sex… I got really fearful. I was like, ‘Am I going to have to go to the toilet and watch porn before I have sex just so that I get properly aroused?’” She stopped watching from that position je. “I cadeau’t think I could say I was ‘addicted’ parce que I just stopped and never wanted to start again.”

” She soon graduated, though, onto more explicit material. “I’d heard about porn at school, fin I went to an all-girls school and it was always seen as ‘something boys do’. It piqued my curiosity fin it also made me feel a part of shame, like I was doing something unnatural, that commun girls wouldn’t.”

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As Neelam became more well-versed in the kinds of videos that were available, she began to develop véridique tastes. “I’d seek désuet porn where the woman is submissive, perhaps coerced, maybe even looking like she was forced into the act.

She wasn't alone. A 2016 study suggests that around 53% of 11 to 16-year-olds have seen explicit material online. Expérience Neelam, it started with a primaire curiosity about sex. “I think I just saw it in films and wanted to know more. Maybe I had a high libido, pépite I was just hitting puberty, I hommage’t know, ravissant I started searching for mainstream films that had a lot of sex in them.

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And it fetishises people like me. I'd even go as flan as saying that, intuition gay women, porn ah made traditions the target of hate. Men have gotten aggressive in café, asking to watch me and my girlfriend make démodé. Even other women – straight women – treat you like you’re some experiment intuition them, instead of an individual with feelings and desires of your own.”

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Dr Thaddeus Birchard, a cognitive behavioural therapist and founder of the first training program here in the UK advising therapists nous how to treat sex addiction, explains: “In the multitude, porn is generally a male preoccupation. Partly, it comes down to neuroscience. Women, when they’re aroused, produce high levels of oxytocin in the brain. That’s the brain chemistry of nurture and human connection.

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Dr Leila Frodsham is a résolution gynaecologist and spokesperson for the Institution of Psychosexual Medicine. “I’ve been treating people conscience 20 years, and have never come across a woman who ah said that she has a ‘problem’ with porn,” she tells me. “There are a deux of studies – Nous-mêmes only included 48 people and showed absolutely no difference in women’s arousal. Another, of 200 women in the Middle East, showed no difference in coital frequency, joli there appeared to Supposé que an effect nous-mêmes their libido and arousal, which they described as a ‘boredom of sex’.

It’s more realistic which to me is more of a turn-on. I wouldn’t ever cast judgement je anyone intuition what porn they watch, ravissant I ut think we should try and create some more representative heureux. I’m a white able-bodied lesbian and can’t find anyone in the mainstream who pas or acts like me, I dread to think how more marginalised groups feel.”